Two more Metro observations

- Apparently, the undercarriages of some portions of metro cars become magnetized during transit. This alone doesn't surprise me. What did surprise me was when I noticed a couple discarded staples dancing around by my feet this morning. As soon as the train left each station, they would stand upright and occasionally twirl around. And then each time the train came to a full stop, they would lie back down flat on the carpet.

After seeing this, my next thought was about how strong these magnetic fields really are. For example, I wonder if passengers' digital media have ever been damaged in the past without anyone ever putting it together that the Metro car itself was too blame. Perhaps the fields are strong enough in some cars to damage an item like a floppy disc in a handbag placed on the floor for a half hour commute??

However, the main point here is that seeing the dancing staples was pretty cool.


- Point two: While sitting in the train with someone with a severe mental problem, I recalled that you can always use the windows to watch such characters without worrying about the person knowing that you're watching. You know, because in the tunnels the windows are like slightly dimmed mirrors when there's nothing but darkness on the other side of the glass.

I felt bad for the guy, but he really was something to behold. Through-the-window-watching was necessary because I was not in the mood for the 10 minutes of attempted crazy talk conversation that could have resulted from eye contact.

This guy was all decked out 70s pimp style. He was having a serious conversation with himself about how fly he looked. He looked around and complimented himself on how "ALL the ladies be checking you out" even though the car was nearly empty and the one woman present was facing the other direction. When we got to Union Station, he boogied his way towards the door, halted, and struck one of those Saturday Night Fever/Bee Gees kind of poses (which I have no idea how to portray verbally) before stepping off the train. Somewhere out there in the whack job land of the Scientologists, John Travolta should be proud.

4:15pm -- no retirement news from the Supreme Court yet

A lot of Court observers had pegged today as the day that we would hear that Chief Justice Rehnquist was stepping down. I don't like the guy too much in general and, in particular, have come to distrust his treatment of facts.

But still... the guy was appointed by NIXON. You can't help but acknowledge that he has quite a legacy regardless of whether you like it or loathe it:   He was on the Supreme Court when we were still fighting in Vietnam and was elevated to Chief Justice the year the Challenger exploded and Chernobyl melted down.

I guess his retirement would be the least significant among the three elders of the Court, though. And even if O'Connor were to step down and get replaced by a full-blooded conservative, the landscape would not be so drastically altered.

The real question worth losing sleep over is Stevens. I hope he's the healthiest 85 year old in America because we need that lovely man to stick around until early 2009!

Seen on the Metro this morning

Okay, I know we're not supposed to laugh at things like this (or maybe we are?), but I couldn't help but crack up when I got a look at this picture this morning. It is part of an ad sprinkled through the Metro system for a real anti-dairy industry campaign related to lactose intolerance.



But holy fuck. How can you not laugh at that?

Or maybe its just me?? Everytime I looked at it, all I could think was that a photographer actually got paid to set that picture up... "Okay, Jim, that's pretty good, but could you look about 20% more desperate on your doorknob grip. And Michelle, we're going to need you to hunch over a bit more - make it look like you're really about to blow chunks."

Also, though you can't see it that well in this image like you can on the Metro, everyone in the picture has one of those obvious white milk mustaches to make sure you understand why they're about to die.

REAL LIFE MONOPOLY

Take a minute to check this out.



Pretty sweet idea.

(via Slashdot)

Fox News gripe - not related to politics

I enjoy an occasional perusal of the right wing's presence on the web. My Firefox "Right Wing" tab menu includes the Washington Times, National Review, the Weekly Standard, Instapundit, Power Line, and No Left Turns. However, FoxNews.com has been sent to the trash bin.

And this is not because of my feelings about their journalistic capability, or lack thereof. Its simply because the layout of that website is just flat out nauseating. I get angry even before I can find the news coverage that I EXPECT would make me angry... if I could only find it.

Seriously. Take a quick look at Fox. Then take a quick look at some of the other big generic sources like BBC (well done), ABC (well done), and CNN (not bad). How did Fox manage to put together such a terrible website? And why haven't they done anything about it over all this time?

On the subject of big announcements


It doesn't get any Pittsburgh-ier than Myron Cope

Last night, the Pittsburgh Steelers let it be known that they would hold a major press conference today. Turns out that Myron Cope, their legendary broadcaster of 35 years, has decided to retire. I imagine that the guy's radio career is worthy of future Hall of Fame consideration. Anyway, I'll sure miss him.

While thinking about big press conference announcements -- and to completely change gears -- I also recalled Paul Bremer's supposedly huge announcement from a year and a half ago over in Iraq: "Ladies and gentlemen... we got him!"

How insignificant does the capture of Saddam Hussein seem when you consider the 1,250 Americans killed SINCE his capture, the thousands of Iraqi soldiers / police / civilians killed SINCE his capture, and the hundreds of bazillions of dollars spent since then? And the fact that we seem no closer to the finish line now than we did 18 months ago.

Plus there was that menacing stockpile of non-existent WMDs accompanied by the even more menacing "probable intent" to possess such weapons.

Yes, getting Saddam was a wonderful service for all the Iraqis he brutalized over the years. Unfortunately, the guy and his country continue to be a serious diversion in our once-justifiable War on Terror. Bottom line: if anything, I think we are less safe today thanks to the shit-storm we started up in Iraq.

The human rights trial of Saddam, whenever it starts, will be a great day for Iraqis of all generations. Our current Administration would like to think it will be a great day for them, too. But for me as an American, the upcoming trial will mainly be a reminder of the fact that the leaders of both Al Qaeda and the Taliban (i.e. the actual 9/11 bad guys) are still out there.

[ For a refresher on the original capture, check out the great whitehouse.org "recap" ]

The Kick Felt Around The World

The most bad-ass play ever in the history of volleyball happened on Wednesday...and didn’t involve the use of bumps, sets or spikes. For those unfamiliar with volleyball, you can use any part of your body to hit the ball. During the quarterfinals game at my work league, the ball came to me but was out of reach of my hands. I kicked a line-drive into one of my teammate's nuts. The hit to the groin left him cowering on the ground in the fetal position, however, the ball bounced perfectly off of his nuts right back at me and counted as a hit. The bounce set me up for another kick. At this point, everyone on both teams were stunned and most of the men were wincing in pain that no one realized the ball was still in play. I kicked the ball perfectly over the net and it dropped inside the line to score a point for my team. No hands, two kicks and a bounce off the nuts…Best play ever.

Our team ended up winning the match, and went on yesterday to win the tournament/league.

This guy was my high school HEALTH teacher

...until he got busted for a DUI... and charged with possession of cocaine... which he blamed on his daughter.

But he apparently went on to get a job at a school in York, PA -- where he's now been charged with various forms of sexual misconduct including indecent assault, corruption of minors, and unlawful contact with minors.

Post-Gazette story

York Daily Record story

How Not To Get Old...

[this was just emailed to some people by my friend Arthur]

True story:

Yesterday, I'm riding the 64A home from Squirrel Hill. This 65-70 year old woman gets on the bus at Forbes and Shady. She has a pass that apparently was only good until 5:30, after which she'd have to pay. It was clearly after 5:30, but she gets on the bus and insisted that the bus driver honor the pass. He refused. The two began to argue while he was driving the bus.

Finally, the driver pulls the bus over around Shady and Northumberland and says, "I'm not moving until you pay." The woman says, "Then we don't move." So we sat there for a few minutes. At this point, we're sitting idle on the side of the road.

The other passengers begin to yell at the woman. One very attractive 20-something black girl yells, "Look, bitch, I may be educated, but I'm about to go angry black woman on your ass!"

The driver calls the police, who arrive a few minutes later. They get on the bus and ask the woman one more time to pay. She refuses again. So, the two cops pick her up, cuff her, and drag her off the bus. The remaining passengers all cheered.

A really interesting piece from slate.com tracking the history of Lucas and Spielberg

www.slate.com/id/2120697

The 1980s: Not Done Yet

The 80s King of Politics died last summer. Then the decade's King of Sports finally threw in the towel three days ago.

But now the King of Pop is on his way home instead of to jail.

And "Weird Al" Yankovic is also still apparently at large.

I think I finally finished digesting all the junk I ate a week ago

A noteworthy tidbit I should have posted here sooner:

Last weekend during one ridiculous 27 hour span in Wisconsin, I consumed two chili-cheese hot dogs, three chili dogs, and two regular dogs during the course of three separate hot dog eating sessions. (plus a gi-normous assortment of other mostly unhealthy foods I wolfed down at the same time)

Yep... seven effing hot dogs in just over one day. I guess the only place for me to go from that point is into one of those disgusting professional hot dog eating competitions.


PS - Mary had six.

So what ever happened to Gay Wars Episode II: Attack of the Wingnuts?

I thought that shit was supposed to come out this year.

If I was I a hardcore social conservative, I think I'd be furious right now about the way this marriage/civil union issue seems to have faded away and dropped below the radar of mainstream America. I mean, imagine what might happen if gay people continue to get married in Massachusetts and the world DOESN'T come to an end. Average straight folks might get the idea that its a personal and private matter which doesn't affect them. And its all the fault of the damn liberal media for not keeping the heat on this story.

But seriously -- it warms my heart to see the administration tip-toeing around this thing and pretending it never debuted the Federal Marriage Amendment last year... you know, so it could focus on its [losing] 2005 effort to destroy Social Security.

I just hope that by the time this becomes a monster story again in fall 2006, when Massachusetts might vote on a state constitutional amendment, the cooling off period will have been long enough for people to realize that gay marriage is not something to be feared.

My Big Fat Nerdy Star Wars Post

First of all, my new ranking of the movies

Episodes III and V on top --> Episodes II, IV, and VI all in the same ballpark - a significant level down from the top (the new trilogy definitely elevated VI and lowered IV for me) --> Episode I well behind the rest of the pack


Some mysteries which were left unsolved by the new trilogy

- What was the point of Episode I other than to spend two hours explaining that 1) Palpatine manufactured the attack on Naboo to get himself the sympathy vote so he'd be elected as Chancellor of the Senate; and that 2) Anakin had no father. It took me 20 seconds to write that sentence. How did Lucas come up with another 1:59:40 of crap for that movie. Am I forgetting something?

- The "Sifo-Dyas" reference from Episode II... what the hell was up with that? We never heard the name once in Episode III despite the implication from Episode II that it was a big deal. Was it actually Sifo-Dyas that ordered the Clone Army? Or if not, was it a Sith impersonating Sifo-Dyas after Sifo-Dyas had been killed? And if it was a Sith, was it Sidious, Dooku, or Darth Maul?

- Was it a Sith that caused Anakin to be conceived? A couple of us thought of this after the movie when reflecting on Sidious's chatter about the Sith Lord with such knowledge of the Force that he could alter midichlorians and create life. If it was a Sith, did Sidious's former master "father" Anakin before (or after) Sidious killed him? Or did Sidious himself "father" Anakin? The latter would mean that Sidious lied to Anakin later when he said that special knowledge of the Force had been lost.


Some Episode III thoughts

- I loved almost everything about this movie. But I guess I'll get two gripes out of the way up front:

There were two or three Anakin/Padme scenes that were on par, painwise, with watching a cute dog get run over by a car in slow motion. This was no shocker, but it was still annoying. On the other hand, Jar-Jar was reduced to a cameo, so I give Lucas props there.

The blue-screening of Anakin and Obi-Wan onto the lava scene during the climactic end duel wasn't as seamless as the rest of the movie. It just didn't look quite right. Though to Lucas's credit, I think it looked like a pretty hard effect to even attempt. I read somewhere that they were integrating live action, computer animation, and actual volcano & lava footage which sounds pretty tricky.

- There were also two significant details lost on anyone that did not see the animated "Episode 2.5" Clone Wars series: 1) Palpatine had a hand in the elevation of Anakin from padawan to Jedi Knight - movie watchers are only clued in that he became a regular Jedi at some point between Episodes II and III; and 2) General Grievous really was a badass until Mace Windu finally got a good shot in on him at the end of the animated series. Movie-goers would have no idea why Grievous was coughing and sickly when the action starts. He killed at least a few Jedis in the animated series, but after his injury, he never added another light saber to his collection.

- I loved some of the symmetries and recalling of other Star Wars moments. For example, Sidious and Vader were both disfigured and beaten in one-on-one combat with Jedis before each swooped in to save the other's life. And even better was the scene towards the beginning when Sidious commanded Anakin to kill the defeated Count Dooku en route to Anakin's dark apprenticeship. This fit perfectly with the scene in Episode VI where Sidious tries to bring about the same result with Luke and a defeated Darth Vader. And there was also a "Search your feelings, you know it be true" line thrown in by someone at some point along the way which echoed Vader's line to Luke from Episode V.

- And despite more awful dialogue between the two, there were also two very good Padme/Anakin scenes in this movie -- the megapivotal decision moment for Anakin where they're looking out across the amazing cityscape at each other, at sunset, with a perfectly haunting (non-John Williams) theme playing in the background. And there's of course that final scene where Anakin actually chokes her, Vader-style.

- I was also pleased with how Lucas managed to off Mace Windu with dignity. Yes, he gets killed, but he also gets the distinction of being the only person to overcome Sidious in a showdown in either trilogy. It just sucks in general to be a Jedi up against Darth Sidious plus a soon-to-be Darth Vader. And while on the subject of Palpatine/Darth Sidious, I'd like to say that Ian McDiarmid fucking OWNED this movie. What a great bad guy character and what a great acting job!

- Sidious wildly hurling Senate boxes down at Yoda brought a cool symbolism with it. The Senate had become the playhouse of the Sith. Sidious was literally trying to kill Yoda with symbols of the old democracy. Have I mentioned that I love this bad guy character?

- I've heard some people question the purpose of the Empire's operations on the lava planet and basically say the planet was a gratuitous effects vehicle. But right from my first viewing, I was fairly certain that the sci-fi purpose of that stuff was to get the huge amount of raw material needed to build a Death Star over the 20 years between Episodes III and IV. I figured that was the reason for those little flying droids with the buckets to scoop up the stuff. So maybe it was actually molten metal, not rock? Or am I reading way too far into it??

- The Anakin-Flame-Broiled scene: YES! AWESOME

- In general, Lucas did an amazing job keeping you interested despite the fact that any fan knew that: Padme would give birth to twins; Dooku, Grievous, Mace Windu, and Padme would die; Anakin would turn to the dark side; and Obi-Wan and Yoda would go into hiding at the end. That kind of viewer pre-knowledge is a pretty big handicap to overcome. The focus on how Anakin was turned to the dark side was well executed. And the fact that Anakin did not immediately sell out for the dark side and instead actually revealed the identity of Sidious to the Jedis was unexpected. The role of the storm troopers as automatons blindly loyal to the Chancellor was perfect... "Order 66" was sweet. Getting to see Yoda emotionally crushed in the end was so jarring after growing up on Star Wars and thinking that Yoda was untouchable and that nothing (other than old-age) could mess with him. A kick-ass movie in my book.


Thoughts on integration with the original trilogy

- I guess for starters, you have to view Episode IV in the same light as a movie like 2001: they're films you must first appreciate for their startling technical movie-making breakthroughs in the contexts of 1968 or 1977. I say this because after popping in the DVD shortly after watching Episode III, it really is a bit of a let down. There's a slower pace and about 5000% less light-saber eye candy.

That said, it still made all the detail-filling of Episode III fun to track. There were plenty of obvious ones like the glimpse of the cool Death Star skeleton. And then there were also plenty of subtle ones such as when Obi-Wan quickly picked up stumpy Anakin's light saber at the very end. I only caught this during my second viewing of the movie -- this scene was of course necessary for Luke to be able receive the light saber from Obi-Wan in the next movie. Another cute one was when Lucas appears to show us a brief glimpse of a young Grand Moff Tarkin during the Death Star skeleton scene. And best of all, I think I heard Jimmy Smits say "Captain Antilles" at some point which I'm sure was meant to be a reference to Wedge's father.

- I'm also happy about the fact that Anakin was so pissed off about not being awarded the rank of "Master" from the Jedi Council. This definitely adds to the Vader/Obi-Wan exchange from Episode IV where Vader says something like "The circle is complete... but I am the master now." So you could interpret that he was still pissed off 20 years later about the whole thing. And then Obi-Wan has a good putdown line like "only a master of evil."

- Some of the space ships we saw in Episode III also matched up nicely with the Episode IV stuff. There were early model X-Wings and Star Destroyers and a throwback Emperor's Shuttle. And better yet was the bridge scene with the Emperor and Vader from inside a Star Destroyer and the Jimmy Smits ship from the end of the movie which were both dead-on replications of original trilogy interiors.

- Finally, there was Qui-Gon's ghost returning via the Force. He teaches Yoda who then teaches Obi-Wan about communing after death and joining the Force. This was a little hokey, no doubt, but I thought it was also a pretty clever way to explain why Obi-Wan could later communicate with Luke after death and why Obi-Wan and Yoda's bodies disappeared when they died in the original trilogy while the bodies of dead Jedis in the new trilogy did not. It also better explains why Vader, a former Jedi himself, was so perplexed when he killed Obi-Wan and the body vanished.

[end nerd mode]

It all started with one crappy ass burrito

i am so so tired right now

yesterday started off mentally draining, as could be expected when attending a funeral. It was a really nice service for Mary's uncle, but that's of course a tough way to start any day. but that's a different story and I don't feel the need to write about it here. Leaving those emotional details behind, the day really got screwy once we tried going home

we fly from La Crosse, Wisconsin down to Chicago O'Hare to catch a connecting flight home to Dulles. We go to one of the O'Hare food courts during our layover and I manage to acquire a pretty shitty burrito. Chicken was burned, black beans were barely cooked, the chipotle "sauce" was uncontainable since it was basically just water with a few herbs and spices thrown in. Its hard to explain fully since I'm no food critic, but this was definitely a weak offering. I had to shove the whole mess into a styrofoam bowl, resort to fork and knife, and choke down the crunchy chicken, crunchy beans, and mushy everything else. This is only the start.

We get on the plane and take our seats. I contemplate whether it would be rude or nasty to kick off my shoes and expose the nearby cabin to a slight foot stink. As I ponder this, a woman rumbles down the aisle towards us and sits down just behind us. And she is carrying THE WORST B.O. EVER INVENTED BY A HUMAN BODY with her.

This immediately calls to mind the Seinfeldian description: B.B.O. -- Beyond B.O.

I try to stay calm and keep Mary from saying anything aloud, but all social convention goes out the window. I hear the guy behind me on his cell phone brake off conversation midsentence with a "whoa - that's overwhelming." The woman who would have been sitting next to StinkZilla shoots straight out of her seat and heads the other way up the aisle to find an alternate empty seat. I kick off my shoes, now knowing that my own foot smell will never be detected. And then the guy who actually had a ticket for the empty seat used moments earlier as an escape seat boards the plane. He temporarily agrees with the escapee to take her original seat, not knowing the reason for her switch. He gets to the seat, has a whiff, and then immediately turns around and heads right back up the aisle while announcing "No, I think I'm going to take my own seat" as he deports the unlucky, defeated woman back into the clutches of StinkZilla.

Its around this time that Mary asks me whether it would be possible to get the emergency oxygen masks to drop from the overhead compartment.

So, yes, it was bad. And then it becomes apparent that the air conditioning isn't going to work in our rear section of the plane. So now we're now breathing the toxic fumes of Stinkzilla AND sweltering. And the seats are leather. And I am wearing a lot of warm clothes. And then we spend an extra HOUR delayed as we taxi around and idle on the tarmac at O'Hare before taking off.

About 90 minutes after we finally get out of O'Hare, it becomes clear from the lightning flashes outside the cabin windows and the fact that we are not landing that things aren't looking so good at Dulles. And then because we idled for so long on the ground in our tiny 48 seater at O'Hare, we run out of gas and can circle no longer. So now we're landing in Pittsburgh. [As an aside: at graduation last weekend in Pittsburgh, I said to some folks "I guess this will be the last time I'm in Pittsburgh until August."]

When we land and they cut off the remaining air circulation during refueling, the aroma of StinkZilla comes back in full force. This night is never going to end. We finally get back to Dulles a couple hours later and then there's one last kick in the teeth waiting for us. Mary and I hustle down the terminal and get to the mobile people-movers just as they're slamming the door closed on a filled-up vehicle. At 1:30am, that's really bad. So we get in the empty one, watch the full one leave, and sit around another 15 or 20 minutes waiting for ours to leave.

Before the people mover is able to pull out and drive us across the airport, we get cut off momentarily by ambulances screaming by -- out on the runway -- with their lights on. A nice little capper to the night.

A few hours after getting home last night/this morning, I'm up and at my bar review course over at Catholic University. I haul ass in my groggy state to get there right at 9:00. I walk in and, naturally, learn that due to technical difficulties our class won't be starting until 9:45.

&!#%

June 2, 10:10pm scatter-shot update

- Just got back from playing ultimate (and exercising) for the first time since February. After two hours of normal practice, I came dangerously close to a full-body spasm and had to call it a night. The good news was that I actually had zero turnovers tonight. The bad news is that I expect to have a whole lotta trouble getting out of bed tomorrow morning.

Ahhhh... good old ultimate.


- Mary and I went up to Pittsburgh last weekend for my law school graduation. Nice ceremony. I was excited, but I think Mary and my parents were probably more excited.


- I saw Star Wars twice at the Uptown in the past couple weeks. Loved it. Will write a lengthy, full-on nerd-alert post with my thoughts soon.


- And on a much more serious note, Mary's uncle Phil died early yesterday morning. Pretty rough stuff. So Mary and I are heading up to Wisconsin early Saturday morning and getting back late Monday night. Considering Mary's family's terrible two year run of folks passing away, I just feel awful. I'm hoping things will start to balance out for them in the coming years.