Those Fat Bastards Are Still At It

I know how fascinated you are with the rodent problems in my office building at Carderock. Here is an update:

1) The mice are eating each other. A few guys came into work last weekend. On Saturday, they found a mouse in one of the traps. On Sunday, half of the mouse was gone. On Monday, the other half was gone. Maybe a few bones were left, but I didn't care to look.

2) The mice are eating personal property. A coworker left his leather briefcase at work last night, and this morning found it with two gaping holes on each side of the bag. He didn't even have food in it.

The Bias Test

If you have 10 minutes to spend on a very interesting interactive online study, go here. This is the Implicit Association Test (IAT). It uses image and word associations to determine your built-in biases. Most exciting -- and frightening -- to me was the black/white test. Note that depending on traffic, the main website might say that only a few of the IATs are currently available. If you encounter that message, you can try this link to access other "unavailable" IATs.

The test was the subject of a pretty fascinating article which was featured in Sunday's Washington Post magazine. If you plan to take one of the tests, I suggest doing it prior to reading the article to avoid overthinking or trying to outsmart the process. If you receive a result from the IAT which surprises or disappoints you, you should keep in mind that the test does not really seem like a test of your moral character or your actions. It may be more like an examination of the environment around you, the environment you grew up in, and perhaps American culture in general.

[Here's an alternate link to the "printer-friendly" version of the article which may get you around the Post's free registration requirement]

The Day After

If you ever saw the mid 80s made-for-TV movie about nuclear war and the after-effects on small town America, then you know what its like around Pittsburgh today. We got fucking nuked last night.

Some scattershot reflections on last night's game and other thoughts:

- Art and I arrived at our seats about 15 or 20 minutes before kickoff. This turned out to be important because we were sitting at the end of a row... where some pretty thick ice had built up on the bench. It took us 10 minutes to chip the ice off our seats with our keys.

- For those people that were drinking beer, there was a significant incentive to chug. Given the conditions, they only had about 10 minutes before their drinks began turning to slush.

- There was a big fireworks display at the end of halftime. Someone should have had the good sense to cancel it. We were down 24-3 at that point. It just seemed ridiculous.

- I absolutely love the fact that Steelers fans -- myself included -- get so fired up when they play the song Renegade by Styx [scroll down this Amazon page to get a 30 second audio clip] over the PA system before a big defensive series. This has been a once-a-game staple of the Steelers for years. Only in Pittsburgh could such a classic rock song inspire insanity.

- And speaking of insanity, I was really impressed with how the Steelers battled and the crowd rallied during the third quarter. As the quarter ended and it looked like we were going to cut what had been a huge lead down to 31-24, the place was going nuts. A really great moment during a really awful beating.

- When the game ended, we all got hot chocolates from one of the concessionaires. The guy gave the four drinks to us for free. A nice little sendoff at the end of a bad night.

- If the Steelers hadn't choked away the 2001 title game to the Patriots, I think I would have had a lot less trouble accepting last night's result. The better team won last night. But in 2001, it was pretty clear that the Patriots were not the better team. In that game, they just happened to be the team that didn't gack up the game.

- If its not already a matter of fact, Hines Ward is pretty close to establishing himself as the greatest receiver in Steelers history.

- If last night turns out to have been the last game for Jerome Bettis, I'll feel privileged to have been there.

- The ice on the Allegheny River looked pretty cool as we walked across the 7th Street Bridge back into downtown to get to our car. It also sounded pretty cool.

- With no football or hockey in town and with no other significant college basketball programs in the area, Pitt basketball is about to come under some pretty intense media attention. Probably more than they've ever received.

- At this point, I'm not planning to watch the Superbowl.


[ 6/21/05 note: It seems like that night was not the last for Bettis, but as it turns out, was the last for broadcasting legend Myron Cope ]

OUCH

There's not much to say. The better team won tonight. The Steelers finished with more first downs, more yards, and a better time of possession. But they also led by a wide margin (4 to 0) in turnovers. Meanwhile, the Patriots made every play they needed. They seemed so comfortable that you could have fooled me into thinking they were playing at home on a 50 degree day even though they were playing on the road in the second coldest game ever played in Pittsburgh.

On the other hand, in terms of comfort, I definitely did not have much tonight. Twelve degrees at kickoff with the temperature dropping to 9 by the fourth quarter was brutal. I had like 17 layers on, but it still was tough up there in peanut heaven.

So now my blog will be called "Patriots Rule" for the rest of the month thanks to my bet with Wendy.

okay, that's it. i'm going to bed

WOO HOO! Inauguration Day!

Deep down, I think I was still holding out hope that John Kerry was somehow magically going to sneak onto the stage and get himself sworn in as our next President today. I guess that won't be happening.

My prediction for next week: Rehnquist steps down from the Supreme Court to be replaced by a Swift Boat Vet, or if none are available (there's still plenty of work to be done on the anti-Kerry 2005 campaign), Robert Bork. Or perhaps Bush attempts to nominate Ronald Reagan posthumously??

Or maybe Bush will have his lawyers trying to determine whether Donald Rumsfeld can serve both as Secretary of Defense and Supreme Court Justice?

I am not looking forward to these next few years.

[1/21/05 note - after reading this post just now, I realize that I may have unconsciously stolen the anti-Kerry 2005 Campaign joke from something like Whitehouse.org, the Daily Show, the Onion, etc. On the other hand, perhaps I previously made that joke myself -- meaning those bastards stole it from me first!]

From the Office of the DC Metro Area's Chief Weather Wuss

I just checked my friend's email for him. He had this message from the Superintendent's office for Fairfax County Public Schools:

"All Fairfax County public schools will open two hours late on Tuesday, January 18, 2005 due to predicted severe cold temperatures in the morning. School system buses are stored outside and this delay will give staff members the time needed to have all buses operational."

The horrifying, bone-chilling forecast for DC for tonight which the superintendent is so afraid of calls for a low temperature of 15 degrees.

WTF??? Were their buses designed for use only in the Phoenix, Arizona area? Its in the teens at least a few times a month during winter -- even around DC. Shouldn't Fairfax County taxpayers be questioning why they own school buses that apparently don't work during the winter?

Gametime!

The playoffs truly start today. Eight teams left... the top quarter of the league's 32 teams. This is the best weekend of the playoffs with two important games on both days. As a buildup to today, the Post-Gazette has been accepting and posting photos of fans from the Steelers Nation.

And in case there was any doubt about the cult-like insanity that the Steelers breed, we have this awesome submission. Sure I love the Steelers, but I'm thinking I'll be happy with a traditional inscription when my time comes. This was my submission, though they have not put it up yet since they obviously have a bias towards dogs:


Motor, family cat and Superfan, in 2002 during her final season

Enough is Enough... I'm Calling the Department of Health

I hear them in the ceiling
I hear them in the walls
Little feet scampering
When night falls

They ate all my chocolates
And left the trash for me
I wear a mask in my office
For it reeks of pee

Now my chocolates are gone
And they weigh 100 pounds
…I need to take this call
Hey, I can’t hear any sound!

My handset is not connected
To the phone anymore
A clean bite through the wire
More piss on my floor

I’ve had enough, damn it!
I can’t work like this
I’m sick of breathing in
These fat bastards piss

Rat, squirrel or mouse
Who the fuck cares
Just get rid of it
I’m running out of air

From the files of the Naval Surface
Warfare Center, Rodent Division

I couldn't let this little tidbit slide...

Shortly after my fiance came into work the other day, she tried to make a phone call. She was unable to complete the call. A mouse or rat had eaten the phone cord overnight.

Okay, that's all.

I feel like a degenerate

I am currently filling out the application for the Maryland Bar. This thing is extensive, to say the least. It basically asks for every detail of your life. And in addition to asking for any criminal proceedings in your past, it even demands details about every traffic violation dating back to your first day behind the wheel.

So after spending some time thinking about it, I realized that I have to list SIX items in the section! There are two open container misdemeanor citations (small fines paid by mail), two speeding tickets, one ticket for blowing a stop sign on campus in College Park, and one red-light camera ticket received by mail. The funny thing is that four of those six items occurred during a 13 month span back in 1996-97. Perhaps I should refer to that as my Stupid Period.

Preliminary Report From Our Maine Planning Trip

Note to DJs -- when interviewing with a potential client, try to avoid the following two words/phrases: "nipple" and "the dog farts a lot"

In general, the weekend went pretty well. We met a ton of interesting people (including the DJ referred to above) and learned a lot of useful information about the various services/vendors we will be employing. And we also were reminded of how awesome the Maine Department of Transportation is. There were two snowstorms which dropped almost a foot of snow combined while we were up there. Either one would have crippled DC for 24 to 36 hours. Yet the roads around Portland and Brunswick were always passable and our plans were never affected.

And speaking of weather and sky-related things, we were treated to a nice bookend effect on Friday. We woke up to the scene pictured below and then later that night, we spotted the northern lights while driving passed Yarmouth, Maine. Unfortunately, some clouds rolled in by the time we got back to my grandparents and away from lights, but it was still a pretty cool morning/evening combo.


the picture Mary took from our second floor bedroom window

Anyway, tomorrow is the first day of my last academic semester ever. Should be pretty interesting. Or at least more interesting than the crapfest that was Fall 2004.

[1/11/05 EDIT - I should have also noted that there was one brief moment when the road crews did not plow one road: when we arrived in a snowstorm on Thursday night, our taxi could not make it up the hill at the end of my grandparent's road, so Mary and I had to carry our bags and trudge about a quarter of a mile in our sneakers through deep snow. The scene was actually pretty hilarious.]

New Year, Same Old Shit

While driving back from DC to Pittsburgh this afternoon, I listened to a bit of an interview on NPR which contained two quotes from Senator Chuck Grassley (R-IA) that led me to conclude that he certainly "drank the kool-aid" in 2004. Each statement separately almost caused me to drive my car into the ditch.

The interview was about his duties as finance committee chairman and upcoming 2005 Congressional spending. When the interview turned to fiscal responsibility and the increasing deficit, Grassley retorted with something like "for starters, you have to step back and consider that if we had been worried about the deficit during World War II, Hitler would've been in New York." Here we go again. Trying to win the hearts and minds of the Iraqi people... while also making the ludicrous Iraq to Nazi Germany comparison when politically advantageous and talking only to an American audience. Perhaps if there was a shred of evidence tying Iraq to 9/11 (or any recent threat to our country), this administration's debts-be-damned, our-crusade-cannot-be-questioned attitude would seem a bit more reasonable.

A little later, while still discussing how 2005 programs will be funded, Grassley explained that he expected to be able to pay for more after the Iraqi election on January 30 because Iraq would become a "less expensive situation" once Democracy has taken place there. Yeah. I'm sure the insurgents in Iraq are thinking "we better cut it out once the election is over... the Republicans on the American Senate Committee on Finance are counting on freeing up Iraq funds for their domestic spending and we don't want to let them down."

ERRRR!!! It still kills me that statements like this from a leader of the Republican party aren't considered more newsworthy. I guess its because more than half the country heard that same company line last fall and bought into it. But it still stings.