Carl Lives On


Carl pre-spray paint job

When Carl cruised the streets in 1984, everyone turned their heads to stare. Back in the day, my little Cadillac Cimarron was fully equipped with power locks, power windows, air conditioning, automatic lights, rear defrost, radio, electronic mirrors, electronic seat adjusters, cruise control, leather seats (or maybe pleather) and a beautiful silver finish. Carl is eligible for collector plates this year, but will the insurance company recognize her as a classic?

There are some minor things that have gone wrong throughout the years, but these are mostly cosmetic. Sure the silver paint color is now graffiti-ed with red spray paint in all of the rusty places. Not to mention the smiley face painted on the door. Yeah, neighbors have asked my parents if they knew who that eyesore belonged to. I don’t know who was embarrassed more when my parents said it was part of the Weiland household – the nosey, stuck-up, all-about-appearances neighbors or my parents.

No, the power locks don’t work anymore. I guess you can’t really lock the car at all for fear you won’t get back in. The locks stick; so don’t leave anything valuable in this ride. No, the air conditioning does not work anymore, either. This is really only a problem in the spring, summer, and fall. No, you can’t just open the windows on a nice day and let the breeze go through your hair. Only the child-protected window in the back seat on the driver side rolls down…halfway down. I guess you can turn on the vent, but it only blows hot air in your face. But, you’re all set in the wintertime. The lights don’t turn on automatically anymore. You have to actually turn them on yourself. The radio/clock isn’t working quite as well as it used to. Out of the 4 or 5 digits that are supposed to light up, only 2 of them do. So, you have no idea what time it is or what you are listening to. That’s not really a problem, though, because the radio only picks up 3 stations. And, based on the position of the sun, you should know what time it is. The ceiling material is severely sagging, but not enough to impair the driver’s vision.

Despite all the cosmetic problems, Carl still purrs like a kitten. Just ask my dad; he still drives her into work. Yeah, a year ago he stalled out once in front of the guard shack, barely making it inside the gates. I was right behind him for the rescue though, giving him a few heckling honks as I could see him stalling out. Well, it made the guards laugh at least. They still ask about my dad and the car.

Now Carl is 20 years old. She meets the age requirement for a classic, and she is not driven more than 2,500 miles a year. The only thing holding her back is that she is not properly housed. A guess a spot on the street doesn’t count as a garage. I’ll figure something out, but rest assured, she will get her classic plates.